The Mental Load is Real: A Clinical Psychologist's Advice for Overwhelmed Women
It's Day 4 of Women's Health Week and today we are talking about breath.
Not just the kind that fills your lungs. The kind that creates space. The pause before you say yes to one more thing. The moment you give yourself permission to stop, check in, and ask how you are actually doing.
Today's theme is Breathe. And it felt like the perfect home for a conversation about mental wellbeing, because so many women are moving so fast, carrying so much, that they forget to breathe altogether.
This year's theme is Do It Anyway. And if there is one area where that message lands the hardest, it is this one. Because so many women know they need support. They just keep telling themselves they will get to it later.
We sat down with Carla Anderson, a clinical psychologist, to talk about stress, overwhelm, and the unique life factors that shape how women feel. What she shared was warm, honest, and full of things we think a lot of women need to hear.
Watch the full conversation below, and keep reading for our key takeaways.
Why so many women feel constantly overwhelmed
Carla's answer to this was simple and immediately recognisable: the mental load.
Whether it’s family, work, the household, health concerns, or all of the above, so many women are juggling a huge amount, and the weight of that juggling is often invisible to the people around them.
We are often really good at looking after everyone else. Our children, our partners, our colleagues, our friends. But somewhere in all of that, our own needs keep getting moved to the back of the list.
Signs you might be carrying too much:
Feeling constantly overwhelmed or on edge
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Pulling away from people and things you enjoy
Persistent sadness, anxiety, or irritability
Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or tension
Feeling like you are just going through the motions
Telling yourself you will deal with it later, again and again
If any of these feel familiar, it might be time to stop putting yourself last.
Why women find it so hard to prioritise their own mental health
Carla put it simply. When you are already overwhelmed, it can feel impossible to work out where to fit it in.
And so it keeps getting pushed back. Behind the kids, the to-do list and behind everyone else's needs. Until the woman who is supposed to be holding everything together is running on empty.
Her reminder is one worth sitting with. Think about what you would say to another woman in your situation. We are often so much kinder and more generous with our advice to others than we are with ourselves.
And then there is the oxygen mask analogy. Putting yourself first is not selfish; it’s what makes everything else possible.
The unique factors that shape how women feel
Women's mental wellbeing is shaped by so many things that are specific to our experience. The hormonal shifts across our cycle, pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause. The invisible labour of managing a household and caring for others. The health challenges that so many women navigate without adequate support. The pressure to hold it all together while making it look effortless.
These are not small things, and they deserve to be taken seriously.
One simple boundary that can make a real difference
This was one of our favourite parts of the conversation.
When someone asks you to do something, even something you want to do, Carla recommends never saying yes straight away.
Instead try: "I'll let you know" or "I'll get back to you."
It sounds small. But that pause gives you the breathing space to ask yourself whether you actually have the capacity, rather than saying yes in the moment and regretting it later. It is one of the simplest ways to start protecting your own mental load.
Do it anyway
When we asked Carla what she would encourage women to do anyway when it comes to their mental health, her answer was clear.
If you are noticing that you are feeling overwhelmed, put yourself first and seek the support that is out there. Even if it feels like you cannot fit it in, do it anyway. It will genuinely make a difference.
You don’t have to wait until you are falling apart before you ask for help. Just like you don’t have to figure out what kind of support you need before you start. A conversation with your GP is always a good first step.
When to reach out
If you have been experiencing any of the following for more than a couple of weeks, it is worth talking to someone:
Persistent low mood or sadness that is not lifting
Anxiety that is affecting your sleep, relationships, or ability to function
Feeling disconnected from yourself or the people around you
Difficulty getting through the day
Numbing out or using food, alcohol, or scrolling to cope
Thoughts that feel scary or that you cannot shift on your own
Where to start
GP - your first point of contact who can refer you to the right support
Psychologist - for comprehensive, evidence-based mental health assessment and treatment
Counsellor - for support through difficult life circumstances and everyday challenges
Crisis support - if you need help right now, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14
You don't have to have all the words. Start with one conversation.
Be the first to get our free Women's Health Guide
This blog is part of our Women's Health Week 2026 series. Throughout the week we are exploring five themes that matter for every woman's health, Fuel, Move, Rest, Breathe, and Connect.
Our free Magnolia Health Women's Health Guide launches this Saturday, bringing together everything from the week in one practical, easy to use resource. Sign up to our mailing list to be the first to know when it drops tomorrow morning.
About Carla
Carla Anderson is a clinical psychologist and founder of Perinatal, Child & Family Hub based on the Sunshine Coast. You can connect with Carla here.
This blog post is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to replace advice from a qualified health professional. If you are struggling with your mental health, please reach out to your GP or a qualified mental health professional. If you need support right now, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14.